Music Musings

A Hipster Point Scale

by That Guy on November 3, 2010

Is it just me or has the hipster population exploded? Hipsters love non-mainstream fashion, counter-culture and irony. I think Julia Plevin of the Huffington Post described it best when she said, “the whole point of hipsters is that they avoid labels and being labeled. However they all dress the same and act the same and conform in their non-conformity.”

From what Ive read, hipsters have been around since the 1940s. If thats the case, why dont you ever see any 50 year old hipsters? I think its because they realized that constantly trying to say ahead of the curve was futile. Somewhere along the way they realized it wasnt worth caring so much about looking like you dont care. Its easier to just not care. And thats why our moms wear momjeans, which oddly enough are now hipster-style. I cant keep up.

Nevertheless, Ive been seeing so many hipsters lately that Ive tried to come up with a point system so we can get a handle on who the hippest hipster is.

Negative 1 Point

Shirt – Flannel shirt (they sell them at Gap and J. Crew now , its over)

Bottoms , Bootcut jeans

Footwear , Creative Recreation Hi-Tops

Facial Hair , Queer Eye For the Straight Guy beard

Accessory – Black and neon plastic Wayfarer 80’s sunglasses.

Beer – PBR (PBR sales grew 25% in 2009. Hipsters dont like success.)

Activity , Well-paying job

Transportation , Anything under 60 MPG

1 point

Shirt , Ironic T-Shirt with the neck or sleeves altered

Bottoms – Raw selvedge skinny denim jean pants

Footwear – Topsiders

Facial hair – Beard

Accessory – Bandana

Beer – Miller High Life

Activity , Reading in public

Transportation – Vespa

3 points

Shirt – Ironic vintage sports t-shirt, ideally with a 3-button placket

Bottoms – Jorts

Footwear – Toms

Facial Hair – Mustache

Accessory , Illegal drugs

Beer – Blatz

Activity , Burning Man

Transportation , Fixed gear bicycle

5 points

Shirt – Tank top

Bottoms – Mesh shorts or umbros

Shoes , Ironic womens socks

Facial Hair – Beard and/or mustache with more than 2 inches of fluff

Accessory , Child out of wedlock

Beer , Non-alcoholic microbrew

Activity , In a band with either the word “crystal” or an animal in the band name

Transportation , Limping

Did I miss anything?


Our Favorite Concert Poster Designers

by That Guy on October 19, 2010

I attended a local festival several weeks ago in Chicago and thoroughly enjoyed looking at the merchandise from all of the artists selling gig posters. Im no expert, but it seems like Chicago is a hotbed for this sort of thing. Lots of talented people here and it blows my mind on a regular basis. I actually ended up buying a Josh Ritter/Joe Pug poster from Dan MacAdam at Crosshair even though I have nowhere to put it, he seemed like a good guy.

Here are some of our favorite gig poster designers in Chicago and beyond. I encourage you to peruse their sites and get inspired to do a little redecorating. (FYI, the artist’s poster is BENEATH their name. Oh and by the way, there are even more that I would have liked to name but tried to keep this list somewhat digestable).

Dan MacAdam – Crosshair (Chicago, IL)

Aesthetic Apparatus (Minneapolis, MN)

Daniel Danger – Tiny Media Empire (New England)

Jay Ryan – The Bird Machine (Chicago, IL)

Cricket Press (Lexington, KY)

Burlesque Design (America)

Delicious Design League (Chicago, IL)

Lil Tuffy (San Francisco, CA)

Spike Press (Chicago, IL)

Diana Sudyka (Chicago, IL)

And hopefully none of the designers mind us spreading the word and showing off some of your work. Please let us know if you’d like us to remove the image.


Slash was nearly blindsided by a crazed fan in Milan Italy on June 10th (originally reported by Spinner). The guy would surely have demolished Slash, but a fleet-footed security guard took flight and intercepted the enemy in midair, thus thwarted his devious plan. One can only imagine how this might have turned out. Without our hero, Slash’s hat may have fallen off.

Slash is touring and playing Guns ‘N Roses songs? What is this about?


credit guy

The freaking internet! This thing never ceases to amaze me. I was sitting around watching TV tonight when the Free Credit Report Dot Com song came on and, per usual, I was mesmerized. The evolution of the guy who plays the lead singer in these commercials is amazing. He’s what you literature majors would call a “dynamic character.”

In the first commercial, he looked like he wanted to pee in his hands and rub his eyes with them. Yet slowly but surely, he appears to have gradually embraced this role over time. And now, he’s become a kitschy television sensation and he’s hamming it up in every commercial like his next date with a Chili’s waitress depends on it. They’ve even set up a web site where you can download the songs.

Now there are covers of the song popping up on The Freaking Internet. Granted, no one is looking at these but me because I’m a d-bag, but I thought I’d share two of the more interesting ones with HearYa readers since there are 2 or 3 of you out there who don’t hate me.

Free Credit Report Song by Knockout Theory
My favorite thing about this version is that these guys scored a gig at Hot Topic in the mall. I think it was the Hot Topic in Ridic-town, USA. Amazingly, it appears they have a rabid following of 15 year old girls. See you at their next gig at the Everything But Water when they open up for Debbie Gibson.

Free Credit Report Song by Brethren of the Coast
These guys actually shred it in this version. The guitar solo is incredible. I also appreciate that the lead singer is wearing a pirate hat, black jeans, a purple quite possibly silk shirt, and what appears to be Tevas. I love this band so much I wish I was sitting on the zebra stripe chair on stage right this second.


Are Greg Kot and Jim DeRogatis sleeping together?

August 6, 2009

For those unfamiliar, Greg Kot is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune and Jim DeRogatis is a columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times. Putting the odd picture with Robert Ebert aside, something is still fishy here. I’ve been following both of their blogs for several months and what I’ve noticed is that they write almost the […]

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The Greatest Performances Set to Music in 80’s Movie History

July 31, 2009

Sometimes there’s a song set to a scene in a movie that makes you want to wet your pants in excitement. They just don’t put progress to music in movies like they used to, nor do they let people lip sync nearly enough. I miss those days. But now that there’s YouTube, we can watch […]

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Remember Elliott Smith at the Oscars?

February 22, 2009

Hard to believe it was way back in 1998… Tweet

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Is M. Ward Famous or Does No One Buy Albums Anymore?

February 20, 2009

I awoke this morning at 5:26am to the feeling of my left testicle being tangled up in my underpants. Has this ever happened to you? Sweet Jebus, what a scare. I apparently did some sort of scissor-kick in my sleep that made my boxers form a tourniquet around my left nut. It hurt like heck […]

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My Favorite People at Karaoke Night

February 13, 2009

I had the pleasure of taking in some karaoke the other weekend here in Chicago and, as usual, it tickled my fancy. While I’ve never personally performed a song, I did once sign up for “Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake, but chickened out. The best performance I ever saw was a rendition of “Chocolate […]

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Indie Hipster Amber Alert: Sting Has a Beard. Should We All Shave?

January 23, 2009

I made two magnificent discoveries yesterday. 1) Reruns of the greatest television show of our generation, Average Joe: Hawaii (the one with David Daskal and Fabio), are now playing on the Fox Reality Channel. 2) Sting is now bearded. I uncovered Sting’s beard at the Obama Inauguration Bash, and it shocked me. I know Sting […]

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