A Hipster Point Scale

by That Guy on November 3, 2010

Is it just me or has the hipster population exploded? Hipsters love non-mainstream fashion, counter-culture and irony. I think Julia Plevin of the Huffington Post described it best when she said, “the whole point of hipsters is that they avoid labels and being labeled. However they all dress the same and act the same and conform in their non-conformity.”

From what Ive read, hipsters have been around since the 1940s. If thats the case, why dont you ever see any 50 year old hipsters? I think its because they realized that constantly trying to say ahead of the curve was futile. Somewhere along the way they realized it wasnt worth caring so much about looking like you dont care. Its easier to just not care. And thats why our moms wear momjeans, which oddly enough are now hipster-style. I cant keep up.

Nevertheless, Ive been seeing so many hipsters lately that Ive tried to come up with a point system so we can get a handle on who the hippest hipster is.

Negative 1 Point

Shirt – Flannel shirt (they sell them at Gap and J. Crew now , its over)

Bottoms , Bootcut jeans

Footwear , Creative Recreation Hi-Tops

Facial Hair , Queer Eye For the Straight Guy beard

Accessory – Black and neon plastic Wayfarer 80’s sunglasses.

Beer – PBR (PBR sales grew 25% in 2009. Hipsters dont like success.)

Activity , Well-paying job

Transportation , Anything under 60 MPG

1 point

Shirt , Ironic T-Shirt with the neck or sleeves altered

Bottoms – Raw selvedge skinny denim jean pants

Footwear – Topsiders

Facial hair – Beard

Accessory – Bandana

Beer – Miller High Life

Activity , Reading in public

Transportation – Vespa

3 points

Shirt – Ironic vintage sports t-shirt, ideally with a 3-button placket

Bottoms – Jorts

Footwear – Toms

Facial Hair – Mustache

Accessory , Illegal drugs

Beer – Blatz

Activity , Burning Man

Transportation , Fixed gear bicycle

5 points

Shirt – Tank top

Bottoms – Mesh shorts or umbros

Shoes , Ironic womens socks

Facial Hair – Beard and/or mustache with more than 2 inches of fluff

Accessory , Child out of wedlock

Beer , Non-alcoholic microbrew

Activity , In a band with either the word “crystal” or an animal in the band name

Transportation , Limping

Did I miss anything?

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Baron Lane November 3, 2010 at 7:08 am

3 points for watching soccer outside the World Cup.

Mark November 3, 2010 at 7:12 am

This post made me smile. Here in Madison, WI, we see plenty of 3- and 5-pointers. I especially like the “Transportation – Limping” comment. Perfect.

Woody November 3, 2010 at 7:47 am

Hipsters – Skinny ties

Hipsterettes – legwarmers

oz November 3, 2010 at 8:06 am

For 3 points: natural bed head – no hair products permitted.

For 5 points: homemade skinny jeans, moonboots in summertime.

At SXSW last year I saw a guy wearing a loose fitting white hanes v-neck with hand-written ironic statements about his intoxication in permanent marker. He was also wearing home-made jorts – very short and frayed. No shoes inside a music venue. I think he may have been off the charts.

Alec November 3, 2010 at 12:08 pm

It’s not you, people are just willy-nilly applying the word ‘hipster’ to just about everyone.

I think the time they used it on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire to describe someone as a “hipster CEO” was when it lost all meaning.

Eugenia November 3, 2010 at 12:53 pm

Once upon a time, being a radical with fashion (e.g. hippies, punks, new wave, metalheads etc), also came with a political/social agenda behind it. A punk is not a punk with just skinhead fashion but without anarchy. And a hippie is not a hippie with a flower dress but no peace ideology.

In the ’00s, true hipsters are only about fashion and “looking different”, and have no concrete or homogeneous ideology behind them. Sure, their music choices are different, but that’s part of the “look” they want to project too. The hipster “movement” (it’s not even a movement actually) is just shallow and superficial IMHO. What’s missing is ideology about how to better our society.

Vanessa (Lady Grey) November 3, 2010 at 5:46 pm

that is seriously hilarious!

That Guy November 4, 2010 at 6:31 pm

Baron Lane – great thought. Hipsters generally seem to hate sports, but I guess if it’s a sport that’s really difficult to find and the vast majority of America has shunned it, odds are they’ll act like they love it. Just like communism, thai food, and films with subtitles.

Rob November 5, 2010 at 7:57 am

Nicely laid out. Here in Denver, there are tons of hipsters…and, you’re so correct: it’s way too tiring to try and keep up. Additions I’d put on the scale somewhere are ear gauges (or, perhaps, it’s even more hip now to only have the saggy holes in the ears w/no guages), and riding a cruiser bike (a.k.a. fat tire).

Mr. Satanism November 7, 2010 at 11:57 am

Ha ha! A brilliant article from 1994.

Oh, wait…

John Rees March 12, 2011 at 4:21 pm

You should score -5 points for scoring yourself. Add that the very bottom. A true hipster would score themselves.

mb August 24, 2011 at 1:07 pm

“Hipsters love non-mainstream fashion”

hahaa. should be Hipsters love MAINSTREAM fashion

luz101 September 30, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Lololololol what a dipshit.

Harri October 13, 2011 at 2:35 pm

a friend called me a hipster and i was like – wat da fak is that?
so googled it and found this and hollly suuds if this shit is a little bit true im a freakingly hipsterish or something hip-ip

Simon March 25, 2012 at 6:33 pm

How many points is a Unicycle?

That Guy March 26, 2012 at 10:14 pm

@Simon – a thousand.

JENNA May 7, 2014 at 9:21 pm

“Hipster” is just an insignificant label created to undermine an entire class of people. It has no real infrastructure to back up what this term really means.

Zed February 27, 2015 at 1:21 am

So what you’re saying Jenna, is that you’re so fucking Hipster, that you denounce the word Hipster as class warfare?

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