The Smoking Gun has a fantastic collection of musical acts’ tour riders, which basically outline what bands require of a venue in order to play a gig there. They can ask for things like booze, meats and cheeses, Cialis, etc. Well, I went through a few of these tour riders in my spare time, and thought I’d do you a solid and share the best of the best with you. Here we go…
- Creed - one of their exact requests is “one pint of Crown Royal (no larger, please)”. Not sure Scott Stapp realizes he doesn’t have to drink the whole thing.
- James Brown – “professional hooded hair dryer.” I feel so cheated – I thought that coiffe was au naturale.
- Michael Buble – one local team hockey puck. Not sure why.
- Robin Thicke - two separate dressing rooms – one for him and one for his band. In his room he requests 1 large bottle Jack Daniels, 1 bottle Patron, 1 bottle Grey Goose, 1 bottle of Mondavi chardonnay (he’s a diva), and one case of beer. For his band? “Only 1 case of beer for band room, no liquor.” Lighten up, Mr. Seaver’s son.
- Prince - A physician to administer a B-12 shot.
- DMX - “Three (3) boxes of condoms.” I’m scared.
- The late Johnny Cash – “An American Flag on a pole stand is required on stage in full view of the audience”. Awesome.
What would you ask for at a gig? Wouldn’t you be as ridiculous as possible? Here’s my list:
- 24-pack of Shasta soft drink – assorted flavors, pre-opened
- One (1) Rod Stewart lookalike to roam the crowd during my performance
- One (1) large banner behind the stage with a pictorial montage of Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s yellow couch to get the crowd hyped
- One (1) fresh pair of large mesh shorts, warmed to 115 degrees Fahrenheit, delivered to me right before I hit the stage with reckless abandon
- Eight (8) Jimmy Dean microwaveable breakfast sandwiches placed on a small table by my microphone, piping hot
- Four (4) Snuggies for the band, 2 in leopard-print, 1 in zebra-print, 1 white, plus the free reading light for a lucky fan
- The football Jake Pavelka the Bachelor threw like a girl in the first episode this season, autographed by Wes the country singer from the season before, and delivered by David Daskal from Average Joe: Hawaii
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I must say I am impressed with your extensive knowledge on Dating Reality TV Shows!
I see Meatloaf requires roast pork tenderloin…and cracker jacks..
Foo Fighters always have the best. Who doesn’t want “stinky cheese?”
I fully agree with bbb…
I never forget my days of being a general assistant at the Hit Factory in NYC….particularly when Whitney Houston would come in. We’d get a 2 page fax outlining everything she needed. I’d spend an hour at the grocery store getting all the stuff…specific to brand name and all. When I’d return to the studio, we’d spend another hour getting the water chilled to her desired temperature, the AC set just right. At that level, the studio was in as much the hospitality business as it was in the business of recording music. I was amazed. Most of the stuff would go untouched throughout the session.
I would ask for a case of Beer Nuts – Almonds. No cashews. They give me gas. An order of fish tacos. A bottle of Don Julio – reposado. And a big giant Toblerone that you can only get at airports.
No cashews. They give me gas. What is that Woodro? Keep it to yourself bro.
I like That Guys list. Rod Stewart lookalike and Snuggies for the band now that’s funny man!
My list–
1 box of Nutter Butters
1 box of Oatmeal Cream Pies
2 boxes of Ding Dongs (frozen)
3 cases of Natty Light
1 Bottle of George Dickle
1 mini trampoline with a 10 foot basketball hoop
That should do it! Now I’m hyped!
Giggled out loud at the Rod Stewart lookalike! Love it.
Michael Buble was probably doing a show at a venue that also housed a hockey arena. I worked at the Sommet Center in Nashville where Michael Buble did indeed play. I wonder if he needed a Predators puck…
The way I understand it, these riders are weirdly specific so that when you show up and see a bowl of green M+M’s, it’s a good diagnostic test to be sure that the stage won’t collapse and that you won’t get shocked… In other words, if they are faithful with the little things, they’ve probably been faithful with the big ones. But maybe that’s just the logical sounding justification that divas use to justify their odd preferences…
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