I made two magnificent discoveries yesterday. 1) Reruns of the greatest television show of our generation, Average Joe: Hawaii (the one with David Daskal and Fabio), are now playing on the Fox Reality Channel. 2) Sting is now bearded.
I uncovered Sting’s beard at the Obama Inauguration Bash, and it shocked me. I know Sting has had a beard before, but this time it’s different. It’s not one of those blondish, well-manicured, Peter Horton in Side Out half-beards that were used in the late 80′s/early 90′s to lure unsuspecting jazzercise instructors into the backseat of your t-top Camaro. Oh no, Sting is rocking a full-on, untamed indie hipster beard.
I ask you, is this the first official sign that beards are reaching the end of their product lifecycle? Are indie hipster beards going the way of the Cornrow, the JewFro, and the Faux Hawk?‚ One can only speculate, but when Sting has time to set down the lute and grow a beard, it’s probably not a good sign.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I can’t grow a beard and I can’t play the lute. where does that leave me>
Are you suggesting that someone shoot Sting? I’m not saying I entirely agree with you 110%, but it certainly is an interesting theory.
There’s a 100% chance that if you mention facial hair, oddbodkins has a great comment.
Last time I grew a beard, someone in my office compared me to “that guy in Wham.” I said “George Michael?” He said “Yes.” I shaved the next morning.
i currently have a beard for the 2nd time in my life. it’s not a good beard. however, i had an extended leave of absence for work and figured it might be the last time i ever get to do this. the experience has introduced me to the idea of the ‘beard comeover’—after 4 weeks or so, you can actually start to comb the beard over some of the patchy spots. i just wanted to share my findings to give people some hope that the beardless can become bearded. but after this sting fiasco i just feel weird about the whole idea of a beard.
comb-over.
Dear hipsters,
SHAVE!!! You do not look cool!! You look ridículos!!!
Seriously, this is as bad as mullets in the 80′s.