There are a few things I’ve stopped trying to figure out in life. 1) What ultimately happens to severely soiled paper products when I throw them in the recycling bin, 2) Why “Temptation Island” was ever taken off the air, and 3) How musical talent can make someone so much more attractive. A woman who is able to sing or play guitar is right up there on the Deceptive Hotness scale with wearing knee-high boots, having a twin, being foreign, wearing a skirt in the winter, and bartending in a low-cut top with two to three padded bras on.
So, with that, on to my list of the Most Strangely Attractive Women in Rock ‘n Roll – girls who wouldn’t be nearly as hot if they didn’t have musical talent. We’ll be counting up from 20:
20. Rachael Yamagata
Doesn’t need an instrument to make her hot, but it sure doesn’t hurt.
19. Liz Phair
All things being equal, she’s like a 7 out of 10. With a guitar she immediately jumps to a 9. On the cover of her self-titled album she skyrockets to an 11.
18. Alanis Morissette
Admit it. When you saw that spastic video for “You Oughta Know” where you couldn’t quite see Alanis’s’s’s face and she was singing about unmentionable acts in the theater, it excited you.
17. The Lazy-Eyed Girl from the Dixie Chicks
I’m totally willing to overlook her lazy eye since she can pluck the banjo like it’s nobody’s business.
16. Sarah McLachlan
Not terrible to look at, but if you came across her profile on Facebook you wouldn’t even stop to look at her oblong face. The piano playing adds at least a cup size to her bra.
15. Sade
When I found out you pronounce her name “Shah-day” it made her 15-20% hotter. Her music, by the by, is unlistenable – it makes me feel like I’m at a bad nightclub in Boca Raton.
14. The Girl who co-starred in “Once” with Glen Hansard
She really wasn’t much to write home about, but Hansard’s character became obsessed after he heard her sing. What a waste of time – he would have been better off smashing that vacuum cleaner into a million pieces.
13. K.T. Tunstall
Not ugly, but certainly not overly attractive. The raspy voice takes her to a new level.
12. Natalie Merchant
The oatmeal of women; painfully bland. But when she sang “Birds and Ships” on Wilco’s Mermaid Avenue album, her hotness increased sevenfold for me.
11. Jewel
It’s no secret she’s very attractive, but she’s the type of girl you’d be apprehensive to take to your office holiday party due to her snaggletooth. You’d cringe every time she introduced herself with a smile. But the fact that she can yodel better than the little mountain climber guy on the Price is Right does more for her snaggletooth than severe cosmetic dentistry ever could.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Great list but I think you have to include Fiona Apple and Amy Winehouse . Rachael Yamagata has got be be one of the most attractive entertainers that actually possesses genuine talent. She could always be a model if her music career doesn’t last, which I doubt.
Evan
http://www.beyondrace.com
What about the male version? Certainly the same theories apply for male musicians (in fact, I can attest to it from personal relationships…). I may be tempted to make the list myself if you don’t!
Drinking buddy:
I’ve been on hiatus for some time, but fortunate for me I chose today to check back in — this is well played. How ’bout: Tristan Prettyman; Belinda Carlise (in her early, more round days); Samantha Fox? I could go on, but I trust you will have numerous future installments. High comedy.
I have to agree with pretty much this whole list. You have invaded my female musical spank bank.
Cassie – this corollary is perhaps even more true with guy musicians. You rarely see a good looking guy with an ugly musician girl, but you see hot girls with ugly musician guys all the time. Have at it – I’ll stick to ogling women.
Mofongo – glad you checked in. There are almost too many strangely attractive female musicians out there to count. I tried to narrow it down but definitely had some omissions, so may have to think about doing a future installment.
Lance – thanks for your honesty.
Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs!
If your not Fiona Apple I dont give a rats ass.
Your site gave me a good midday laugh. And, I agree with your picks. Nice work!
Thanks for stopping by, Jed. You can also see Part II here http://www.hearya.com/2009/01/03/the-most-strangely-attractive-women-in-rock-n-roll-part-ii/.
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