8 thoughts that will change your life forever.

While Oz’s wife was birthing his child, I tried to spark some ideas for some new posts. I didn’t get much further than a few random thoughts. They were real weird. Here’s what came out…

1. Concert DVDs are like the sausage at a Holiday Inn breakfast bar. You keep trying them thinking they’re going to be pretty good, but you never end up finishing them.

2. I watched “Into the Wild” the other night. Great soundtrack, great movie, great book. You get about 75% of the way through that thing and you start thinking, “Maybe I should leave my life behind and start a simple life out in the country.” Then, 10 minutes later, Alexander Supertramp is cursing out God and you remember why air conditioning, hooking up with smoking hot babes, and stuff like caffeine are so awesome.

3. Can someone tell me why you never see a country singer with a name like “Robert Schwartzman” or “Boris Karloff”. Is country music talent a double-recessive gene absent in non-blue-blood Americans of every lineage and generation?

4. Other than Braveheart introducing us to “primae noctis” in 1996, has there been anything more disturbing than Michael Jackson’s sexual tendencies?

5. Is it just me, or do the playlist names you make up for your iPod sound cool until someone else sees them?

6. I’m confused by the popularity of “High School Musical”. Are the cool kids doing musicals now? When I was in high school you were liable to get your underpants pulled up over your head for singing in a musical.

7. Does Thom Yorke have a lazy eye for the same reason Andy Dick got his lazy eye in “Old School”? I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

8. This is just one guy talking, but having a stranger peek over my shoulder to see what I’m listening to on my iPod makes me just as uncomfortable as someone peeking across the urinal at my exposed johnson. Those two feelings feel the same when I feel them.